“Huling Mensahe Para sa Matalik na Kaibigan ni Spongebob”

When I went to my previous (high school) alma mater to get my one and a half year worth waiting year book, I saw a piece of paper (stationary maybe) folded crosswise into three bonded by a heart shaped decal (haha). I’m quite hesitant upon getting it (am I or not), but my mind keeps on forcing me to get and read what it restrain, what’s into it (but the truth is, I’m just waiting for the person seated next to me to move away so that I could get it) and upon getting, I’m not sentient that I just open it so I just read it.

The letter was from Ella (nickname for solitude) to Myk (nickname for solitude) entitled “Huling Mensahe Para sa Matalik na Kaibigan ni Spongebob” (jaja, too conceiving choice of heading, interesting). And as I identify with the letter, it’s all about a girl that was so confused, why did his boyfriend leave her behind without any reason at all (woot, too vivid). Its a propos of a girl believing that his ex-boyfriend was the best thing ever happened to her life but all of a sudden, abruptly, he left (how gloomy). But even hurts stag her, she pursue loving the stupid guy knowing he couldn’t be hers anymore. Philanthropic love without any in return.

“Huling Mensahe Para sa Matalik na Kaibigan ni Spongebob” goes like this;

Nothing can ever define the agony that I’m going through right now. It has made me realize how painful it is to love someone like you and eventually lose you in the end. It has become so difficult for me to finally accept the painful truth that nothing would ever be the same again..

I loved you back then, regardless of your situation. I love you right now, regardless of how the pain is killing me and I’ll always will, regardless of what could happen.

You were once mine and I was rightfully yours. It was as if we’re the only people in this world. You were the only thing that mattered to me. You have showed me how love and be loved at the same time. But just like any other story, it came to a point were it has nowhere else to go but towards to an end. I have given up everything for your love all the while thinking that you’ll be here forever. I have gambled with life and won the battle. I got the prize and I wasn’t remorseful that I couldn’t hold the prize up forever because of time constraints, but your once sweet love became nothing but a cold feeling that before death engulfs me, you decided to leave. I tried to hold on to you but you shooed me away as if I didn’t matter to you.. or did I?

And now, so much have changed. In my solitude I even ask myself, did you ever really loved me? Everyday I’m trying to convince myself that for once you did, but why am I having second thoughts? Did you? Or did you not?

But then again, reality hurts, and it has bitten me several times. Fact has it that I just can’t make you stay, no matter what I do, no matter what I sacrifice, or even in exchange of my life. But I guess no matter what happens, nothing will ever stop me from loving you. This is where my strength comes from. You know you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.

That ends the letter of Ella, a martyr (jaja) muddle through a broken heart. Hmmm, sorry Ella if you could read this on my BLOG (if), I apologize that I have copied your letter but the original letter was at the deck, in front of the principals office, I have returned it where I picked it but maybe, now its gone (jajaja).

Once you undergo a failed relationship, the pain is always left unaided. Everyone thinks you moved on but you’ll later realize you never stop loving him or her, you just learned how to live without him or her. Loving someone is too risky. You gave up the most wonderful things, but you still get hurt. You try to stand for it, yet you fall. But then who says love is fair? It isn’t, it never was.


-END

loaMing: A JUMBLED name to END up (Hoping for a Change)

Indeed, life doesn’t permit us to be happy. Time is always imposing moments of sadness. You’re just wasting your time waiting for that hopes that perhaps will not occur. Sometimes, you have to fight for something to make everything alright. You give your best and you gave your all yet, you still lose.

In life, you’ll find someone who will puff smoke and drink with you till sun-up but what you really need is someone who will stay with you when all you see is an empty beer bottle and a cigarette pack. You will never expect love at its best, but whoever is destined will always prevail. Remember, there can only be one true love for you to exist. It will not be someone you expect but rather you deserve.

I have read the book entitled, “The Alchemist.” It’s a great book with great quoted lines. The lines that captivated me most go like this, “At a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us and our lives become controlled by fates. That’s the world’s greatest lie. Whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.” Definitely true.

Sometimes, you just want to quit when things start hurting you. You want to leave everything as it is before the pain gets worse. But once you remember how much you’ve prayed, how much you really wanted it, and why you were fighting in the first place, hope comes back into your heart and maybe and just maybe… it is worth going this far.

I remember Hebrew Talmud says, “Be careful if you make a woman cry because God counts her tears. The woman comes out of a man’s rib, not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior of, but from the side to be equal with. Under the arm, to be protected for, and next to the heart, to be loves…” You will know you made the right decision, when you pick the harder choice and your heart is at peace.

To end-up this BLOG, I just want to share one of my favorite author’s literary pieces that could relieve my reader’s notion between the worst kind of suffering, Waiting and Forgetting. Paulo Coelho’s –By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept-, “If pain must come, may it come quickly because I have a life to live and I need to live it in the best way possible. If she has to make a choice, may she make it now. Then I will either wait for her or forget her. Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.”

loaMing, I’ll forget you as if we didn’t met. It’s over.

-End